Once in a Blue Moon

I'm sure you've heard the saying "Once in a blue moon" before. But what exactly is a blue moon? I'm so glad you asked!

Blue moon: not actually blue

A blue moon actually has nothing to do with the color. It refers to the second full moon within a calendar month. This can occur because there are 29.5 days between full moons, so this phenomenon is rare, but can happen during longer months. And, surprise, the last blue moon of the year is tonight, March 31st, and another blue moon won't happen until October 31, 2020.

A morning in Julliard Park

So, you can see how the idiom "Once in a Blue Moon" came about, meaning "not very often."

My once in a blue moon occasion is taking a little personal time away from work this next week. The pace of life has been very breakneck these past few months, and I need some time to catch up on sleep, projects, exercise, self-care, my yard, reading, friends, and housework. And maybe even some fun in between. And, since hubby is a teacher, he's off for Spring Break!


Today, hubby and I walked downtown for breakfast, and then I took an extra long walk with the dogs this morning and meandered lovely Julliard park. It was a much needed beginning to what I hope will be a productive and restful week.

Woo!

Next up: tackle all the nursery projects that are piling up. So many awesome things to assemble, and some really beautiful and thoughtful gifts to share with you all once I get this little pile all organized. First off, painting! You can see some of my samples on the wall. Stay tuned for updates!  The goal is to have the nursery mostly complete by the end of Spring Break. I know we will feel so prepared to welcome our little one when this project is complete.

Lots to do!

So, yes, once in a blue moon it's nice to step out of the rat race and take time for yourself. I hope you're able to find this time for yourself occasionally too.

There are a lot of artists with songs titled "Once in a Blue Moon." Here's my favorite from Van Morrison. Enjoy!

Adoptees who Inspire: Babe Ruth

See, funny movies can be educational

Today is opening day for America's favorite pastime: baseball!

Unfortunately, my San Francisco Giants are playing opening day against their rival Dodgers in Los Angeles, so they'll be no peanuts and cracker jacks for me (more like crab sandwiches and craft beer aka $30 lunch--worth every penny) at one of the best stadiums in all of baseball.

Naturally, this is the perfect day to talk about today's Adoptee Who Inspires. Did you know that arguably the most famous name in all of baseball was adopted? Yes, The Babe himself!

Never too old to hang out with the mascot

Unfortunately, since he died over 30 years before I was born, most of my knowledge about The Sultan of Swat comes from the awesome baseball movie, The Sandlot. Which means I know all of his nicknames, and that kids in the early 1960's idolized him.

However, the movie did not mention that The Great Bambino was adopted!

George Herman Ruth was born in 1895 to a bartender and his wife in Baltimore. He was the eldest of eight children. His parents decided they didn't have time for him, so they placed him with St. Mary's Industrial School for Boys, a combination orphanage and reform school. He had basically been living on the streets at this point, and was labeled "incorrigible." In what sounds like the plot of a Charles Dickens novel, his parents signed over custody to the Brothers who ran the institution.

At St. Mary's, Brother Mathias took a shine to young George, and encouraged his obvious affinity for baseball. After a talent scout named Jack Dunn recognized the young man's potential at age 19, Dunn became his legal guardian to circumvent custody orders, and the legendary baseball player was signed to the Baltimore Orioles.

Babe Ruth and his first wife went on to adopt his first daughter, Dorothy. After his first wife died in a fire, he remarried, and he and his wife adopted each other's children. What a great advocate for adoption!

The famous Crazy Crab'z Sandwich. Yours for only $1,000,000

I cannot wait to share me and my husband's love of baseball with our future child, and I'm looking forward to their first trip to magical AT&T Park.  I've already been looking at baby outfits for that special day. And we will chase Lou Seal the mascot around the park until we get a picture.

Okay, go enjoy some baseball in whatever fashion/fandom your region dictates. Hopefully your team isn't as injured as mine. Now..I just need some home opener tickets so I can go enjoy one of these sandwiches.

Play Ball!

Goodreads: Listopia and the Best Books About Adoption

Hey! Any other Goodreads people out there? If you're not familiar with Goodreads, it's like a social network but just for books. You can indicate books you've read, want to read, or are currently reading, and see what your friends are reading and make recommendations too! My friend Sarah introduced me to Goodreads stalking, which is apparently when you pick a friend to stalk and read what they're reading.

I digress.

So, I just discovered this Goodreads feature called Listopia. 🙌

Curious as to what this was, I plugged Adoption in the Search bar. After scrolling by some very questionable results (see rbelow), I actually found some really useful lists. These are created by and voted on by Goodreads readers.

What the? 😖

Aha! Finally, something useful

 Some of the categories include:

• Best Fiction About Adoption
• Non-Fiction Books about Adoption & Foster Care 
• Adoption and Foster Care Picture Books
• Nonfiction: Gay & lesbian parenting
• Kids in Foster Care 
• Alternative Families in Children's Literature 
• transracial adoption 
• Adoption and Foster Care Books for Children  
• YA Adoption Fiction 
• Books With Adopted Characters 

I loved having lists from readers to help me locate valuable books for different topics, and to maybe add my own input too! Check out Listopia 🙌 for yourself and find your next good adoption-related book.

And hey, feel free to book stalk me on Goodreads! I love recommendations and reading challenges (trying to beat 50 books again this year). Hope to see you there!

Related Posts

See Book Reviews

Happy March 25th!

Wishing you a very merry March the 25th! What's so great about March 25th? Well, just look at all the cool holidays today:

• International Waffle Day (my favorite breakfast food--I celebrated this morning already!)
• Tolkien Reading Day (my favorite author!) #TolkienReadingDay 
• International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade (A solemn reminder)
• National Day of Celebration of Greek and American Democracy (Yay! Democracy!)
• National Medal of Honor Day (Thank you for your valor servicemembers)
• Neighbor Day (Hi neighbors! You're awesome!)
• Lobster Newburg Day (I have no idea what this is...sounds like an East Coast thing)
• Pecan Day for some reason

You can check out more about these holidays here: https://www.checkiday.com/

However, they failed to honor one man on this day. I'd like this to be International Shel Silverstein Day on March 25th mostly because of his poem Merry...

If you're not familiar with Shel Silverstein, (and I would question where you've been hiding if you're not), he's the author of Where the Sidewalk Ends, The Light in the Attic, Falling Up, The Giving Tree, and The Missing Piece. People of all ages have identified with his works, and they've stood the test of time.

His stories and poems (self-illustrated) are usually silly, but some can be serious (anyone else feel sorry for the tree in The Giving Tree?). I couldn't get enough of these in middle school. I must have checked them out at the library at least 10 times. Plus, there were a drawings with butts, and as everyone knows, butts are hilarious when you're 11.

 

After Shel's death in 1999, a few books were released posthumously, including a book of poems called Every Thing on It. Now, we finally get to what this post has to do with adoption. Thanks for sticking with me.

In this book, there's a poem called Jake Says... that I found very beautiful, and you may to:

 

I love this. What a beautiful poem. I couldn't find any Etsy folks making digital prints of this, but if any of you are graphic design wizards, I bet you could make this in to something lovely for your adopted child's bedroom.

That's all for today! So, happy International Shel Silverstein Day! Now, back to what I was doing:

Books in this Post



 

The Waiting Game: Brew Day Edition

The dreaded waiting game. Most of us in the adoption world have had to play this game at some point, be it waiting for paperwork, placement, court proceedings, literally sooo much waiting! Like Homer says, "the waiting game sucks." See the original clip here from the classic episode Mr. Plow.

Most adoption facilitators and experts tell you to stay busy to help the time pass without losing your mind. Many of us have waited years to become parents, so waiting months (our agency averages 18 months for placement) to complete your family can be excruciating. Our social worker told us to take a vacation, which is a fabulous idea if you have the means to do so. We are determined to adopt debt free (more on that later), so a vacation isn't likely to be in the budget, but we've found other ways to occupy ourselves (including starting work on our nursery!).


So, what does beer making have to do with adoption? Well, nothing really, other than it's a hobby that has helped us stay sane during our waiting game. Hubby received a beer making kit for Christmas from his parents, and since we're both craft beer connoisseurs (I originally misspelled that so badly that spell check threw its hands up in the air haha), he asked me to help him brew the beer. When Brian and I started dating back in 2007, I worked at a local brewpub, so an appreciation for good beer has always been something we've shared.

Cleaning. So much cleaning

Beer making is a very involved process that requires a LOT of cleaning and patience, and from start to finish takes about 5 weeks, depending on the beer. Hubby and I started our first brew in February 2018. It was a team effort from the start, measuring temperatures, reading instructions and watching every home brew YouTube video known to man, consulting local brewers (thanks Craig of HopLabs Brewing, we're bringing you one tonight I promise), stirring, pouring, measuring, more cleaning...

Bottling day! Drying after more cleaning...

Here's a simplified version of our brewing schedule:

•  Brew day: Sanitize, steep grains, boil, add hops, boil, add more hops, boil, cool, add water, add yeast, transfer to fermentor.
• Primary fermentation: One week in fermentor (aka carboy).
• Secondary fermentation: Transfer the wort to another carboy. This takes two weeks.
• Bottling and bottle conditioning: Move beer to large bucket and add priming sugar. Then transfer to bottles (most brewers hate this part, but I found it fun once I got the hang of it). Wait two more weeks.













• The payoff: Enjoy the fruits of your labor!

And voilá (dorky English major side note here)! Five weeks later Maple Street Brewers presents our inaugural Pale Ale. And it was good--all that cleaning and consulting paid off big time! It was actually such a fun process and delicious product (if I do say so myself), that we're already discussing our next project (maybe a NE-style IPA?).

Credit to hubby for photo :)

Finding a hobby you can enjoy with your partner, (or a friend or family member for single-parent adoption) can not only help the time go by, but bring you closer to that person as you prepare for your new arrival.

Stuff to consider

• What are some of the ways you played your waiting game? 
• Did you know so much goes in to beer making?
• Should you invest in Maple Street Brewers before we become mainstream? (haha)

Adoptees Who Inspire: Brandon Elder's American Idol Audition

I don't watch much TV, especially network TV, so I rely on others to let me know when something adoption related happens out there in that world.  I'm not against it, I just loathe commercials. If the TV is on at our house, it's tuned to sports (go Dubs!) or I'm playing video games haha.

Brandon Elder at the American Idol audition

So, extra thanks to Sissa Mandaville from the Domestic Adoption Support Network for sharing this young man's story and American Idol audition. If she hadn't shared it, I never would have heard about this and gotten to enjoy his absolutely incredible song.

Brandon is a very talented 23-year-old from Alabama who wrote this homage about the single-mom who  adopted him. I won't give it away, mostly because I can't do anymore justice to his story than you can get from him telling it himself. Watch this clip to learn his story and watch his performance.

When I was a young boy, you took me in
and loved me as your own
The greatest love that anyone can ever know
is the love from my mother's heart...


*Ugly crying*

Brandon with mom Patricia

I'm totally blown away by Brandon's talent and story. What a beautiful way to honor his mother. The judges are clearly just as impressed. When you have songwriters of that caliber giving you that kind of praise, you're doing something right. I hope he gets far in this competition!

Good luck Brandon! And give him a like on Facebook to show your support.


Stuff to Consider

• What did you think of Brandon's performance? Do you agree with the judges?
• Are you an American Idol fan?
• Have you expressed your adoption story via art?

Let's Talk Adoption Brochures!

Every agency requires something a little different when it comes to how they present you to prospective birthparents. Our agency works with expectant moms all over the United States, so they require easily mailable brochures, usually 6-12 pages long.

Creating the brochure was difficult for me. You might be surprised, but writing about myself feels like homework. When I sat down to consult with Malia (the awesome head of our agency's Outreach Program), she could tell I was struggling with this part. She gave me some suggestions and I managed to get through it, but I was never very happy with my inability to express all the things I wanted to convey about us in a 6 page brochure. One thing she suggested that helped was to ask hubby to write my bio, and for me to write his. It really did make that part easier.

For the design, I opted to use a canned design from VistaPrint and manipulated it to work for an adoption brochure. It turned out okay in a clunky, cluttered kind of way. But for me, it was all about the turnaround mission: get these suckers to the agency so we could actually be presented and officially become a "waiting family."

Fast-forward six months or so, and so much had changed in our lives that I felt a brochure refresh with a more personal design was due. And I knew the perfect person to help me: Lindsay from A Touch of LA! Lindsay had helped me with a few previous projects, including the cutest party decor you've ever seen. Just look at this gorgeous invitation she created for my goddaughter's first birthday!

We worked together for a week or so gathering photos, updating text, and getting the layout just right. It definitely helps to have someone easy and responsive to work with. I showed her some other examples of brochures I liked, and she used those ideas to create something uniquely us!

Here is the spread of the brochure. It's a tri-fold, printed on high-quality glossy card stock.  I chose tri-fold rather than the usual 8-page most couples at our agency were opting for to make it unique. We're sometimes presented among up to 10 other prospective birthparents to the expectant mom. Less space also made me more intentional about what I said in the brochure and what photos I chose.

I love how many photos we got in without it looking cluttered.

Outside of the brochure. This folds in to thirds to create a tri-fold. Click to enlarge!

I love the little list items about our favorite things and what we can't wait to do with our child.

Inside. I love the spread with our bios. 💗 Click to enlarge!

If you're looking for someone to help you with your adoption brochure, I highly recommend Lindsay and A Touch of LA. She's fun and easy to work with and so talented! Check out her Creative Services page for current pricing, and don't miss all her other fun projects she's shared on her site (follow her on Facebook to see projects in real time!). I cannot wait to use her services for our child's Welcome Shower and birthdays. Is it too early to think about themes?

Stuff to consider

• What material did your agency require you to produce?
• Did you find any aspects of this process difficult?
• Who did you use to create your material? Or did you make it yourself?
• Any advice for others who are creating their adoption book or brochure?

Spring is here!

Happy first day of spring!

We're enjoying the equinox (or Alban Eilir in Druidry--a festival that sort of explains the bunny/egg thing in Easter traditions) here in Northern California with a spot of rain, and more storms are looming on the horizon. I know, I know, I shouldn't complain--other folks are getting some serious weather still! But the showers bring the flowers as they say, and here in "the chosen spot of all earth as far as nature is concerned," (according to Luther Burbank) nature will put on an epic display soon!

Luckily I'm working from home today, so I get to enjoy the showers while actually having some natural light and a view of them (at the office I work in a gray cubicle where I'm under florescent lights--yuck!). And my dogs are curled around my feet, soon to be insisting that I walk them (the rain is no excuse to skip the morning walk mom!). Dogs are the best.

Every cubicle dweller's fantasy

As I sit here taking a short break from work and looking out at my happily blooming jasmine, I'm also thinking about the future. Spring is a time of rebirth, of freshness and new life. I'm already looking forward to spring cleaning (yeah I actually like cleaning...especially when I can listen to an audio book while doing it)!

My wild jasmine plant outside my window

If you're waiting for your match like us, or even if you're not, take a moment to enjoy the world as it begins to shake off its winter coat and be reborn. We too can emerge from our winter hibernation refreshed and ready for the future. Brighter days are (literally) ahead.

Stuff to consider

• Do you enjoy spring cleaning?
• Are there signs of spring where you live? Or maybe you're in the southern hemisphere and it's fall for you?
• Is this good for the company? (Sorry, more Office Space humor)
• What does spring represent to you?

The Adoption Journal

Hi! And welcome to The Adoption Journal!

This blog, originally called Our Adoption Journey, began as a way for me to record events, gifts, announcements, and other personal milestones in our personal journey toward open adoption. However, as I began writing, I realized that I could write and share about so much content pertaining to adoption, and that I'd love to open this platform up to other parents and anyone else in the adoption world.

Thanks for being here! I cannot wait to hear from you too! Some of the themed articles you may see in this blog include:

• Book reviews
• Birthparents who inspire
• Adopted parents who inspire
• Adoptees who inspire
• Adoption in film
• Adoption in fiction
• Adoption in the news
• My personal adoption journey  
• Other cool adoption related stuff!

Please contact me for article ideas (what do you want to see in this blog?) or if you'd like to create a guest article (please, please!)

Thanks for being here,

XOXO Kira

Birthmoms who Inspire: Kate Mulgrew

Kate Mulgrew aka Captain Badass

For those of you unfamiliar with Kate Mulgrew, she is most famous for her role as general badass Captain Janeway in Star Trek: Voyager. However, her career has spanned a long and rich history of film and theater, more recently with her portrayal of Red in Orange is the New Black.

My love of Kate Mulgrew did not actually stem from her storied physical acting career, but her voice acting one. It all started when my husband recommended that I listen to Joe Hill's book NOS4R2 on Audible. Those who know us know that we are big Stephen King fans, and Joe Hill is his son, so I was intrigued. The story is amazing and scary at the same time, made more so by the absolutely epic narration by Kate Mulgrew. I now count this book among my favorites...maybe even higher than King's (blasphemy, I know!)

NOS4R2 is narrated by Kate Mulgrew

Listening to her tell the story, I had no idea who she was, but her sultry and expressive voice lent the perfect tone for a story about a vampire and a kid who can cross long distances and into other worlds on her bicycle.

So, when her memoir Born with Teeth popped up on sale on Audible, I jumped at the chance to hear her story in her own voice. I did not know much about her at this point other than her more famous roles, and that she enjoys reading creepy novels for money.

We were early in our adoption journey when I listened to this story, and we had just completed a class where we had two birthmoms come in and speak about their own adoption journeys. It was heart wrenching. It opened my eyes to how much loss is realized on their side of the story. I always knew this was no easy thing, but hearing it from their hearts was just what I needed.

Kate Mulgrew's Memoir

So, when Kate finds herself unexpectedly with child during a critical time in her acting career, she makes the absolutely brutal decision to find an adoptive family. This story happened during a time when open adoption was pretty much unheard of. A child was born and taken from their mother right away, with records sealed and secrets abounding. Kate's experience is very difficult to hear as she goes through the fear, regret, and hope that can plague a birthmother.

"I had fears about telling my story, fears about the judgment of it. I felt shame, and I had a huge degree of inexpressible regret. Specifically, I would have tried harder to keep my daughter. I was young and so wanted my life as an actress." ~Kate Mulgrew

I won't give it all away in case you'd like to read it, but there is a reunion with her child later in the story that reminds you of the bond that remains between a child and the woman who birthed them, even if that woman does not parent them.


Do you have a birthmom who inspires you?

Books to Inspire: I've Loved You Since Forever

We are so blessed to have a community of friends and family who are so supportive, and I've enjoyed seeing how our adoption journey has affected others. After we made our announcement, friends, family and even coworkers have opened up to us either about their own struggles with starting a family, or with adoption stories that have touched them personally.

It was hard for us to open up about the adoption at first. It has been such a deeply personal journey to parenthood for us, full of some ups, but mostly downs. A lot of disappointment and frustration out of something that is supposed to be a beautiful and magical time. However, sharing our happy news and now preparing our home for a baby's arrival is the beginning of the "ups."

We got another surprise book yesterday from my best friend Ashley's mom Kay. It's a beautiful story written by Today show host Hoda Kotb. Kay shared with me the incredible story behind this book, as Hoda herself adopted her daughter Haley a year ago. Grab some tissues and watch her tell Ellen her adoption story in this YouTube video. And her daughter is so frickin' cute; this one where Hoda talks about her will finish off that box of tissues for you.

Kelly Clarkson even wrote a song based on this book. Grab a second box of tissues and check out her rendition here. Amazing how many people this story has touched. Thank you so much Kay for the book and the story to go with it. And the cute foxes on the cover. I love foxes. :)

Brian told me last night that his favorite part of his workday is when he reads to his kids, how he could do that all day (he even does the voices for them; his Frog and Toad voices are awesome). He went on to say that when we have our child, that it will be his favorite part of the day. I couldn't agree more, that's why I want to create a cozy reading corner (lamp, side table, and chair here) and a library stuffed with our favorites and the favorites of our friends and family. I want to share with our child the importance of the book to the person who gave it to them too, which is why you'll see more of these book related posts. Thanks for sharing some tears with me! XOXO

The Quilt: An Etsy Gush

Don't you just love Etsy for just about everything? When searching for the perfect nursery set, everything seemed so cartoonish. Big, bright characters on even brighter backgrounds. Patterns enough to make your heads spin. Nine piece sets full of cheap add ons you'll never use. Crummy materials...I could go on.

There were only a few sets I liked, and one of them was a very cute set from The Land of Nod. Not only was the price tag high, but it's always on backorder, and all the accessories are over $50 for the most basic stuff ($59 for a crib skirt--get outta here!!).

So, we decided that if we were going to spend that kind of money, we'd rather spend it on something handmade and not something churned out of a factory and on every baby's bed from here to Constantinople (I can't believe I spelled that correctly my first try). The woodland/camping theme is really popular right now, so we wanted something unique.

So, naturally, I turned to Etsy! I've used Etsy for so many events and for lots of decor (including our adoption announcement sign!).

We found this perfect quilt from TinRoofQuilters that covered our camping theme, and the colors lend themselves to the more soothing feeling we're going for. And foxes. I love foxes. :)

Our crib is arriving today! OMG! Is this really happening? Now all we need is the kid haha.

Cannot wait to keep sharing our nursery progress while we play the waiting game...


"The waiting is the hardest part." ~Tom Petty

Books to Inspire: Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born

Yesterday I came home to a mysterious package...it turned out to be the sweetest surprise gift from my high school friend Francie Ortiz! 

Francie had reached out to me earlier in the week asking me if I'd heard of this book! And I said, yes, it was actually recommended to us by our agency, and we'd included it on our registry. 

Unbeknownst to us, she ordered it and it was waiting for me when I got home! ♡

This story, written by Jamie Lee Curtis, is an adoption story about the night the adopted child was born. Isn't the artwork awesome?

This is a book we can't wait to share with our child. We want our baby to know how special they are, and they will grow up knowing that they were adopted and that this miracle was due to the unselfish act of love by their birth mom, and that they were loved by their parents from the very start.

Thank you again Francie! XOXO

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to read this without ugly crying 😭

You can find it on Amazon, or (better yet) at your local independent bookstore!

In on it: Yeah, that means you!

This book is making the rounds with our friends and family! Highly recommended by our agency for friends and family of adoptive parents. Some humor and some truth about what we’re going through and the part you play in our future child’s life. #lovemakesafamily #waitingforyou

If you're interested in knowing more about the part you'll play in our adoptive child's life as a friend or family member, check out this easy to read, inexpensive book! Seriously, you could crush it in a single day!

It's Nursery Prep Time!

It's finally time to start work on our nursery! Eek!

The beginnings of our library

When we decided to adopt back in May 2017, we didn't know we were in for four months of applications, background checks, fingerprints, health exams, webinars, weekend classes in San Francisco, home studies, house preparation, reading material, employment and income verification, brochure and profile creation, and a paperwork snafu that set us back a month. It was a whirlwind!

When we officially became a waiting family in September 2017, we decided to take a baby breather (that sounds weird, but I'm rolling with it). The average wait time for placement is 18 months, so 6 months later, we felt rejuvenated enough to start preparing to welcome our baby home in hopes that 2018 will finally (fingers crossed, thoughts and prayers, magic spells--send them all our way) be the year we become parents!

Anyone need a desk?

This weekend, I finally got everything non-baby related out of what was our office, other than my desk, which is on its way out (anyone want a desk? Free to friends and family). Now our office is in our garage, and Brian and I will share his desk.

Those of you who know us well (if you're reading this, that likely includes you) know that we love the outdoors, and we also love movies. We needed something gender neutral that would be fun to decorate. 

With that said, our theme is... *drumroll please*... 

Our bookshelf needs books!

Camping with a Wes Anderson vibe (it's a thing, I'm not crazy, I promise).  Think Moonrise Kingdom and Fantastic Mr. Fox combined. See my Pinterest board to know what the heck I'm talking about.

We've got the perfect crib coming this week (thank you grandma Angie and grandpa Jeff)! And I've got some registry items picked out at Target. We're picking out paint this week! And a window treatment because we sorely need one.

Closet with curtains shut - should still be able to use these

Our agency does not suggest having a baby shower before we have custody (many reasons for this--I'll blog on that topic later), so we will have a Welcome Shower or "Sip and See" once the baby is placed with us. If you'd like to help us prepare for our little one's arrival, I've added links to the registries in the upper right corner. We've already had some donations and gifts. Thank you so much! We are so blessed. Please remember to keep it gender neutral for now!

Here are the obligatory before pics scattered throughout this post! I'll be adding in progress stuff as I can. And our quilt from Etsy arrived today (can't wait to get home to see it--squee!).

Thanks for being part of our village! Stay tuned for updates.

♡ Kira

More nursery photos:

Ashley hooked us up with some stuff already!

We need more diapers!

Books in our library so far: