That persevering chap
He'll come along and drop
A bundle in your lap...
Look out for Mr. Stork.
Look out for Mr. Stork.
~ Look Out For Mr. Stork, Dumbo
Hopefully that will be stuck in your head for awhile.
So, what is a "Stork Drop?" Well, it's a cutesy way of describing a situation where either the birth of an adoptable child is imminent or recent, and an agency or other adoption entity
is looking for immediate placement for that newborn child. It's also sometimes called "Baby Born." Being an adoptive parent in this situation means that you have probably not had any pre-placement contact with the birthfamily, you may not have medical history, the baby could have some exposures, and the mother may not have known she was pregnant and may not have had prenatal care. Because of the nature of the situation, many of these placements are often closed adoptions.
The stork bringing a child to the waiting parents is
folklore that has been persistent in many cultures. While I thought it was just a clever answer to "where do babies come from?" that didn't involve the Birds and the Bees talk, it actually has a bit more history than that. In European
folklore, the legend was made popular by the Hans Christian Anderson
story, The Storks, which you can read here. Warning though, like all of his stories, it's a bit disturbing. Really can't believe that was told to children.
Anyway...
Deciding to be on the list for an immediate placement match means that you may have to make a quick decision, weighing the known and unknown. The mother will most likely be in labor or the child was recently born, so getting to the hospital or location sometimes even same day is not uncommon. You will want to have a diaper bag packed and ready to grab at a moment's notice. You have to be flexible and open-minded to what this match could mean for your family.
Why the Stork Drop term is problematic
Using the stork drop term does leave out one very important part: the birthfamily. The stork metaphor portrays an anonymous child being brought to a waiting family, devoid of history or family ties. You can check out this wonderful article by Alissa Kay about why the Stork Drop term is not the ideal way to describe this situation from a mom whose two children were already born and the agency was looking for an immediate placement.
Adoptive mom Robyn "had 90 minutes from phone call to meeting [our son], and then only another 90 minutes before he was in our home. He was 10 days old at placement. I feel like the term stork drop removes the birth family from the equation. I much prefer saying that we were matched with a baby already born."
The agency we are working with, Adoption Connection, refers to this type of placement as an "Immediate Placement" rather than the colloquial Stork Drop. In our Child Placement Referral form, the situation is described as "The baby is born or birth is imminent. You could receive a call with less than 24 hours’ notice prior to taking the baby home. Medical history may not be available at time of placement." So, some agencies and other adoption entities are taking notice of how this term may be problematic as it removes the birthfamily from the equation.
Immediate Placement Stories
Now the fun part! I asked some families in one of my adoption groups to share their immediate placement/baby born stories. And I'm so happy to report that I got to hear some truly beautiful stories and see some adorable photos. Enjoy!
We
had an immediate placement and was not looking to adopt. A client of
mine knew the Bio Mom and literally had the baby within 24 hours. We now also have his brother which we got in the delivery room. With the
first baby I was very guarded with my heart
due to a failed foster care adoption. It took me near finalization to
accept this is really gonna happen. It’s a true blessing. For those of
you who have had a failed adoption stay encouraged.
- Dan, Florida
We were chosen by a birthmom to adopt her son 2 days after he was born. She had originally chosen another woman to adopt him but the woman’s family exhibited some red flags at the hospital after he was born so his birth mama wanted to choose a different family for him. 5 hours after I answered the phone I was holding him.
- Rachel
We had been waiting for 3 years (6 months home study, 2.5 years waiting for placement.) We got a phone call at approximately 3:30 p.m. that we could pick our son up the next day at noon. We had NOTHING. He was four days old when we brought him home. We have no other kids so when I say we had nothing, I truly mean it. We had planned on quitting the program at the end of the year. I was 44 at the time and while my husband is younger than me, we just were getting frustrated, emotionally spent, and I was getting worried about how old I was getting lol. So, we got the call and had 20 hours to prepare. We cleaned our Kmart and Target that night lol. It didn’t truly sink in for a few months.
- Kathy, Illinois
We found out about our son on a Wednesday, met his mom on Thursday and brought him home on that Friday. We are in KY. He was 7 months old and it was a private placement. We had been expecting a newborn match so we had to run out like crazy and buy a high chair and older baby stuff like cups and baby food. It was a crazy whirlwind and amazing.
- Diana
We got a call on July 1 asking if we wanted a 5 week old who was being moved. My worker said we needed to decide in 24 hours. Of course we said yes, we picked him up July 5. Had nothing for a baby...it was an experience.
- Jackie
We had a baby born placement as well. Jan 8, 2016. We found out about him two days after Christmas, he was born the day after Christmas. He was 12 days old at placement.
- Bruce-Christina
We weren’t even looking to adopt but found out about the baby on Friday, officially said yes on Sunday, and he was born 12 hours later (2 months early). He went directly home with us from the NICU, at 2 1/2 weeks old.
- Laurie
We got a call on a Wednesday that a baby had been born the night before, we met him and birth parents Thursday, and Friday we were parents!
- Erin
I'm pretty sure that would describe our youngest son. Born on Sunday and got the call that evening. He was home with us on Tuesday. We would have had him a day earlier, but we needed time to prep. Nearly 32 years later, and I still shake my head in disbelief that lives can change so quickly.
- Anne
Thank you all so much for sharing your beautiful stories! Stay tuned for our next post when we will share one very special story from another adoption group member about her family's immediate placement. Get your tissue box ready.
Hopefully that will be stuck in your head for awhile.
So, what is a "Stork Drop?" Well, it's a cutesy way of describing a situation where either the birth of an adoptable child is imminent or recent, and an agency or other adoption entity
is looking for immediate placement for that newborn child. It's also sometimes called "Baby Born." Being an adoptive parent in this situation means that you have probably not had any pre-placement contact with the birthfamily, you may not have medical history, the baby could have some exposures, and the mother may not have known she was pregnant and may not have had prenatal care. Because of the nature of the situation, many of these placements are often closed adoptions.
Not a great bedtime story |
Anyway...
Deciding to be on the list for an immediate placement match means that you may have to make a quick decision, weighing the known and unknown. The mother will most likely be in labor or the child was recently born, so getting to the hospital or location sometimes even same day is not uncommon. You will want to have a diaper bag packed and ready to grab at a moment's notice. You have to be flexible and open-minded to what this match could mean for your family.
Why the Stork Drop term is problematic
Using the stork drop term does leave out one very important part: the birthfamily. The stork metaphor portrays an anonymous child being brought to a waiting family, devoid of history or family ties. You can check out this wonderful article by Alissa Kay about why the Stork Drop term is not the ideal way to describe this situation from a mom whose two children were already born and the agency was looking for an immediate placement.
Adoptive mom Robyn "had 90 minutes from phone call to meeting [our son], and then only another 90 minutes before he was in our home. He was 10 days old at placement. I feel like the term stork drop removes the birth family from the equation. I much prefer saying that we were matched with a baby already born."
The agency we are working with, Adoption Connection, refers to this type of placement as an "Immediate Placement" rather than the colloquial Stork Drop. In our Child Placement Referral form, the situation is described as "The baby is born or birth is imminent. You could receive a call with less than 24 hours’ notice prior to taking the baby home. Medical history may not be available at time of placement." So, some agencies and other adoption entities are taking notice of how this term may be problematic as it removes the birthfamily from the equation.
Immediate Placement Stories
Now the fun part! I asked some families in one of my adoption groups to share their immediate placement/baby born stories. And I'm so happy to report that I got to hear some truly beautiful stories and see some adorable photos. Enjoy!
Dan's darling children |
- Dan, Florida
We were chosen by a birthmom to adopt her son 2 days after he was born. She had originally chosen another woman to adopt him but the woman’s family exhibited some red flags at the hospital after he was born so his birth mama wanted to choose a different family for him. 5 hours after I answered the phone I was holding him.
- Rachel
We had been waiting for 3 years (6 months home study, 2.5 years waiting for placement.) We got a phone call at approximately 3:30 p.m. that we could pick our son up the next day at noon. We had NOTHING. He was four days old when we brought him home. We have no other kids so when I say we had nothing, I truly mean it. We had planned on quitting the program at the end of the year. I was 44 at the time and while my husband is younger than me, we just were getting frustrated, emotionally spent, and I was getting worried about how old I was getting lol. So, we got the call and had 20 hours to prepare. We cleaned our Kmart and Target that night lol. It didn’t truly sink in for a few months.
- Kathy, Illinois
We found out about our son on a Wednesday, met his mom on Thursday and brought him home on that Friday. We are in KY. He was 7 months old and it was a private placement. We had been expecting a newborn match so we had to run out like crazy and buy a high chair and older baby stuff like cups and baby food. It was a crazy whirlwind and amazing.
- Diana
We got a call on July 1 asking if we wanted a 5 week old who was being moved. My worker said we needed to decide in 24 hours. Of course we said yes, we picked him up July 5. Had nothing for a baby...it was an experience.
- Jackie
We had a baby born placement as well. Jan 8, 2016. We found out about him two days after Christmas, he was born the day after Christmas. He was 12 days old at placement.
- Bruce-Christina
We weren’t even looking to adopt but found out about the baby on Friday, officially said yes on Sunday, and he was born 12 hours later (2 months early). He went directly home with us from the NICU, at 2 1/2 weeks old.
- Laurie
We got a call on a Wednesday that a baby had been born the night before, we met him and birth parents Thursday, and Friday we were parents!
- Erin
I'm pretty sure that would describe our youngest son. Born on Sunday and got the call that evening. He was home with us on Tuesday. We would have had him a day earlier, but we needed time to prep. Nearly 32 years later, and I still shake my head in disbelief that lives can change so quickly.
- Anne
Thank you all so much for sharing your beautiful stories! Stay tuned for our next post when we will share one very special story from another adoption group member about her family's immediate placement. Get your tissue box ready.